Nobody has made me as happy as you!
And nobody has hurt me as much, either!

Oh calamity, beloved leather black platform pump!
Is ours a relationship doomed to live only in the warm, private safety of the bedroom, with piles of clothes on the floor bearing witness to this completely senseless love?
Will we only meet in mirrors and in night, in brief, loving snatches before benumbed by blissful sleep?
Must every meeting end in blood and skin blistered from frantic attempts to meet you halfway?

You do have such a beautiful sole.



In a typically female fashion, I shall proclaim that as much as I love you just the way you are, I'm going to make it my personal mission for the foreseeable future to break you in and change you into something softer.



And thus ends the recent spate of completely bimbotic posts.